the other side of me . .

Sunday, September 27

Is this just another obstacle we have to go through?
Is this just another test for us to take?
I have totally no idea. I just wanted to keep you happy.
I have tried my best to do everything that you wanted me to do.
But most of the time you just are not satisfied.
I did everything i can. I tried everything that i can.
Army.. Parent.. Friends.. Stress.. Sadness..
Everything is piling up bad on me.
I don't know what have I done in my previous life that i have to go through this now.
Suddenly i just feel like i just hate everything.
Everything in my life has just gone like that and there is no purpose in life.
This feeling..
Tell me what can i do to keep your happy.
Tell me what can i do to keep your smile up always.
Tell me what should i do to not make you upset.
Its like a chain effect. When you are unhappy, I get unhappy too.
And when i get unhappy you get even more unhappy.
I really love you a lot.
I will do almost anything for you.
I just want to be with you . Together with you.
Hugging you telling you everything will be ok.
Cause i am with you.
I want to be your pillar of support and someone who you can cuddle to when you are upset.
But i think i haven really achieve any of this.
I feel like a useless one big ass person now.
Words are useless. Its what you do that counts.
I can say a thousand i love you but if in my heart, i dont mean it, its just words.
Compared to a thousand i love you and 1 warm tight hug.
It means alot of difference to me.
You can tell me that you miss me and love me every single day.
But really just one hug and nothing else would tell me everything..
I dont want any of this to happen.
I dont want to repeat any mistakes that i have made before.
I dont want you to be upset.
I dont want you to feel alone.
I dont want you to feel that you are being pushed away.
All i want is your smile that is on your face.
It means a lot to me.
Your laughter, your smile, your warm hug is enough to make my day.
I dont want to regret anything that i have done.
And i dont want you to regret anything that you have done either.
I know i have said so much but i guess only a bit of it would get into you.
But i know i still have to say it anyway.
Old habit die hard. Its hard to change i know.
If i can change, why cant you..
Some decisions would not require any thinking.
Cause in your heart you would have the answer.
Not everything can be bought by money
Money is something that is materialistic.
Things that you can touch and feel is materialistic.
I am materialistic too.
Happiness, sadness, feelings, love, time.
These are the things that cant be bought buy money.
You can earn 1 million dollars in one day.
But you lost something more valuable than 1 million.
I can say straight from my heart.
Its not worth it.
I can just get knock down by a car tomorrow.
Or die in some accident.
Who knows.
I feel.
I wonder.
I love.
And i cherish..

A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone
Even if they don't like you
Everyone someone thinks about you before they sleep
You mean the world to someone
Without you someone may not be living
You are special and unique in your own way
When you make the biggest mistake ever
Something good comes out from it
When you think the world has turnsed it back on you
Take a look..
You most likely turned your back on the world
When u think you have no chance at getting what you want
You probably wun get it but..
If you believe in yourself
You will probably sooner or later get it
Always remember complements you received
Forget about the rude remarks
Alway tell someone how you feel
Then they will know..
Take time to let people know that they are great
Remember this in your heart always..


Till the end,
I will be with you,
We will go where our dreams come through,
All the time that we have been through,
You will always be my dear Evangeline.
I love you..
.wm

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